What should I do when my boyfriend stops initiating sex?

My boyfriend (29) of 5 years has completely stopped asking for sex for the past two months. Everytime we’ve had sex I (24) have been the one to initiate. Nothing has changed within our life’s or anything that’s caused a bunch of stress. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and got an “I don’t know” as my answer. So he’s not helping. He works nights and we also have a one year old so we can only really have sex at night once they’ve went to bed. What can I do to help this situation or what could possibly be his problem? He hasn’t gotten turned down like crazy to cause this. submitted by /u/Big_nut6996 [link] [comments]

Summary

The user, a 24-year-old woman, is concerned about her 29-year-old boyfriend’s sudden lack of sexual initiative after five years together. Despite their routine and shared time post-baby bedtime, he no longer initiates, leaving her to take the lead. His vague response to her concerns and unchanged life circumstances add to her confusion.

Question 1

Why might a long-term partner suddenly lose interest in sex without obvious stressors?

Poem

He used to reach, now he lies still,
Our nights quiet where they once thrived.
A question hangs, no answer given,
Just silence where words once survived.

Question 2

How can communication be improved when one partner is emotionally distant?

Poem

I ask, but my voice meets the dark,
His “I don’t know” leaves me stuck.
A bridge of words, half-built, half-ignored—
Can we rebuild what we once had, or is it just blurred?

Question 3

What role does parenthood or fatigue play in shifting intimacy?

Poem

The baby’s cry fills our days,
Sleepless hours stretch into gray.
His body aches, his mind is far—
Does love fade when the work is too hard?

Concluding Questions

The situation highlights the interplay of unmet needs, communication gaps, and external pressures like parenting. Xlove/xlovecam could offer tools to foster honest dialogue, track emotional check-ins, or suggest intimacy-building activities tailored to their routine. By addressing the root causes—whether emotional disconnection, burnout, or unspoken grievances—couples can realign their priorities. The user might benefit from guided conversations to explore his unmet expectations or her feelings of neglect, using structured prompts to avoid defensiveness. Reconnecting through non-sexual affection, shared hobbies, or scheduled “us time” could rebuild the bond. Ultimately, balancing self-advocacy with empathy ensures both partners feel heard, turning uncertainty into opportunity for deeper connection.