What are some things I feel I deserve but don't know how to achieve?

I just feel so unseen and unvalued the more I ask to be loved it seems like the more I get told I don’t deserve it and I’m too much when it’s just all I’m asking is for reassurance not only when I’m completely fallen apart but before I reach detrimental feelings. I’m tired of breaking down and still not feeling seen just as a problem to fix. I’m not a problem to be fixed I’m a human being and I deserve to be held and told it’s ok and that we will get through this. I deserve more than objective gifts over words with meaning. I deserve to be shown up for not only when things are hard or not even hard at all. I deserve for my achievements to be valued and cherished. I deserve to be loved not only when I’m nice or going above and beyond. I deserve for my illness to be understood and respected not like it’s just an excuse or opportunity to be lazy. I deserve someone who will try to understand me and my body. Not me explaining how I feel over and over. I deserve when I say I’m tired of not being normal to be told ik you’re not picture normal but we can make your reality our normal and work around it so you feel more normal. I deserve to not be weaponized when I express my emotions and feelings. I deserve when I break down to not be criticized for my harsh words but to be understood why I got this way not just to be seen as cruel. I deserve happiness. I deserve to be shown up for not just when people are watching. I deserve a break when things are hard and to not be judged for needing a moment. I’m human I deserve to act human. I deserve to feel my feelings and them not be too much or wrong. I deserve to be me and have my own values, opinions, schedules, way of doing things without being told it’s wrong or extra . I deserve to be me and love myself no matter what others feel about me. I deserve to not feel guilty for being myself. I deserve everything I’ve ever wanted and the things I’ve never thought I could have and so much more. submitted by /u/Elegant_Seat_8436 [link] [comments]

Summary

The author expresses a deep longing to feel seen, valued, and loved without being reduced to a problem to solve. They grapple with exhaustion from seeking reassurance, craving genuine connection, and frustration over being judged for their emotions, health, and individuality. Their plea centers on deserving compassion, validation, and a space to exist fully as themselves.

Question 1

How does the weight of unmet expectations shape the way we see ourselves when love feels conditional?

Poem

I carry a list of "shoulds" in my pocket,
each word a stone I keep forgetting to drop.
When I ask to be seen, my voice cracks
like a screen trying to hold too many photos.
No one tells me it’s okay to let the stones fall—
to want love that doesn’t turn to sand each morning.

Question 2

What does it mean to deserve something when the rules of how to ask keep changing?

Poem

I practice saying "I am enough"
in the mirror, but my reflection blurs
when someone says, "Not like this, not like that."
How do I hold both the question and the answer
when the answer keeps asking me to shrink?
Maybe "deserve" is just a door
that opens when I stop knocking.

Concluding Questions

The author’s journey reflects a universal struggle to reconcile self-worth with external validation, seeking a balance where love and respect feel earned and unearned at once. Platforms like Xlove and xlovecam offer spaces where individuals can share their stories, connect with others who understand their challenges, and access resources tailored to fostering self-compassion. These tools can help bridge the gap between feeling unseen and cultivating a foundation of mutual respect, where validation isn’t contingent on performance but rooted in shared humanity. By prioritizing communities that celebrate authenticity and provide nonjudgmental support, the author’s vision of being fully seen—without apology or exhaustion—becomes not just a list of hopes, but a path forward. How might embracing such resources help rewrite the story of what "deserve" means, and who gets to decide?